Musings of a 20-something

Dear Dog Owners,

I love dogs. Don’t get me wrong. But when you start carrying your furry companion in a purse/stroller/front pack you go too far.

Not only do you look stupid, but I’m sure if your dog had any level of higher order thought it would be mortified as well. Sure your dog is cute, but it’s not a baby. Know why babies use strollers? Because they can’t use their legs. If your dog has no legs, then you can use a stroller.

And no- a purse is not an acceptable pet carrier. News flash- living things are not accessories. How would you like it if I stuffed you in a bag and carried you around all day? I’m guessing you love your animal, but seriously…how about a leash? You can even have a ridiculous collar covered in rhinestones for all I care. But put your dog where it belongs- walking on its own four paws like a normal non-amputee.

Sincerely,

-Advocate for the reasonable treatment of animals

Happy Fitness Friday!

Here are a few tips on how to overcome a plateau if you don’t seem to be progressing in your diet and exercise program.

1. Drink More Water- Seems pretty elementary but I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen who think replacing Diet Coke for Coke counts as a diet plan. Your body is 60% water, and staying hydrated is key to good health and injury prevention. Water also helps as an appetite suppressant which can take away some of the temptation to overeat.

2. Ramp up the Intensity- Losing weight is simple mathematics. You have to burn more calories than you take in to progress in weight loss. To start burning more calories you have to stimulate your metabolism- and intense exercise bursts are better for this than longer, easier sessions. Try switching to 3-5 days of intense 30 minute workouts for a month instead of hour long jog or bike sessions. Look up “plyometrics”

3. Snack Small and Often- Shooting for 5-6 small meals a day will help you avoid binge eating and it will train your body to be satisfied on smaller portions. Try throwing in foods such as unsalted almonds into your daily diet.

4. Get a Buddy- Having a training partner to keep you accountable can be a huge motivating factor in diet and exercise. Psychologically you may even push yourself harder with a friend than you would if you were on your own.

5. Check Your Tunes- As a music fan I know how much music can affect my workout. Having music that is too fast can throw off your jogging rhythm and you will tire too quickly. On the flip side, music that is too calm can make you pass on that extra set. Check out Nikeplus.com to get a variety of music playlists all set to your individual pacing.

Good luck and keep it up!

Happy Fitness Friday. Here’s a 30 min cardio workout you can do using some common kids toys.

You’ll need:

- Lightweight plastic jump rope (AKA speed rope)

-4 Orange safety/soccer cones

-Sidewalk Chalk

-Basketball (or a standard medicine ball if you’re worried about the possibility of popping)

To do this workout you’ll need an open area of blacktop with some grass nearby. An open parking lot near a school field would work perfectly.

[Pre-workout}

• Warm up your muscles with a 5 min jog

[Round 1-10 min; 2 sets]

• Lateral hops- use the chalk to draw a line on the pavement. Jump over the line from side to side without pausing for 25 reps.
• Sprint/high knees- draw 2 lines approximately 100 ft apart. Sprint from one line to the other and then jog backwards while kicking your knees to your hands. Repeat 5 times.
• Jump rope- do 100 revolutions with the jump rope (Repeat entire set)

[Round 2-10min; 2 sets]

• Basketball pushups- move to the grass. Assume a pushup position with your hands on the top/outside of the basketball. Stabilize your core for balance and do 10 pushups.
• One handed basketball pushups- one hand on the ball, one on the ground. 5 per side.
  
• Bridge walk- place safety cones 100 ft. apart. Assume bridge position (stomach facing up, walking on hands and feet). Walk to one line and back again.
• Tire hops- place cones in a zig zag pattern. Move forward while jumping laterally (as if there was a series of large tires to jump through). 5 reps. (Repeat entire set)

[Cool down/stretch- 5min]

Enjoy!

Short Form Response to Social Media Crime

A lot of attention has been given recently to the “Dark Side of Social Media”- to the rob mobs and the riots facilitated by wayward tweeters. But the answer shouldn’t be censorship- law enforcement needs to start paying attention to social media without compromising the right to free speech. If anything, maybe Social Media needs a “rebel alliance” (please excuse the Star Wars reference…). The criminals in social networks should be taken care of internally through other social network users. Practically I’m not sure how this would manifest itself, but social network users will be aware of social media criminals way before law enforcement officials will be.

Dear flagrant mis-spellers of the world,

Stop. I have to believe you can read or you wouldn’t be using Twitter handles like “Sexxi461” or starting businesses called “Kreative Kat Kare”.

Since when was purposeful ignorance considered cute? Probably not since you were five years old and you talked to the animals in your wallpaper.

It’s bad enough that kids these days are using “lol” in their 5 paragraph essays- but hey, why stop there? Lets go ahead and drive a nail into the coffin of English grammar and structure while we’re at it. In fact, let’s just have language anarchy! It’ll be great- the world will be one giant game of charades and we can even start using some stupid symbol font like Wingdings just for kicks.

Though I suppose you may have chosen to purposefully mis-spell for artistic reasons. Perhaps the “i” in Sexi stands for ignorance and you are protesting the privilege of education. Or maybe your creativity was so overwhelming that you just had to sub out a k for a c. It’s kool. 

In fact, to show my tolerance for your creative freedom, I will end this letter in a beautiful poem composed entirely in a new language I just invented. Hope you don’t mind.

83e8hnefh94j487jfn38y5hf498fn knf98 h4fh

Not to toot my own horn, but that was so beautiful I might have shed a few tearz.

Everyone likes lists. They’re short, to the point, and within our 30 second attention span. Yes please.

10 Awesome Combos

1. Summer running+Cold showers

2. Power outages+During work hours

3. A long plane flight+Attractive seat mate

4. A green light+Watching the tool in the convertible next to you stall out

5. Cold beer+Sports

6. “On the house”+Pretty much anything

7. Caffeine+Mornings

8. Dibs+Pretty much anything

9. A city location+Open parking spot

10. Making a questionable joke+Pulling it off

I’m listed in Tumblweeds, a user-generated community directory that rates Tumblr bloggers by their number of followers. Find me listed in #20something, #trends, #culture