Musings of a 20-something

Calm it Down Casanova

Hey Dude with a Guitar:

ditch the instrument. In case you didn’t notice, we’re at a party, there’s already music, and I’m pretty sure it’s better than your collection of acoustic John Mayer covers. I get it-the starving artist look is your modus operandi. But seriously Rico Suave, you could pull off the same thing with a tattered scarf and some hipster glasses.

Your stringed appendage is not only taking up extra space-it’s holding me hostage in a sonic prison of Wonderwalls and Dashboard Confessionals.

And I mean- how long do you think this schtick is going to keep working? You have maybe another year before you have to get a haircut and start hitting the 9 to 5. You might as well start easing into a new look. I suggest the “motorcycle dude”. You’ll still have your safety prop to make up for your lack of conversational prowess and every guy in the room will still find you annoying. So really not that big of a jump.

Or if you want to stick to the music thing, invest in some DJ equipment. Everyone loves a good DJ.

But seriously- if you play one more cover of “The Only Exception” I’m going to beat the crap out of you with your own instrument.

Sincerely,

-Advocate for the enforcement of reasonable party etiquette

Why the New Facebook is a Game Changer

This article is meant to be a prediction of the impact the changes to Facebook will have on our culture and society at large, not a summary of the changes. For a good synopsis of all of the new features that Facebook is rolling out check out Brian Ries’ article on the Daily Beast here: http://bit.ly/nFTO3h. Or, take a look at the proposed beta version here: http://www.facebook.com/about/timeline.

I went in to the F8 livestream today fairly confident that I knew what developments Facebook was going to debut. It turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong. Facebook did not just introduce a few new music features or a rebuttal to Google+. They announced a complete change to the look and feel of their site and quite possibly the next step in social computing. Here are some of the possible implications of the changes:

Our life stories will exist in the digital realm.

The real power of Facebook’s new Timeline feature is that it transforms a Facebook profile from a snapshot of life at this moment to a full picture of an individual’s life in entirety. Theoretically, a person born today could have their entire life documented on Facebook. This takes questions of our public identity to a whole new level. A profile will no longer just be a summary- it will be the whole novel. Timeline blurs the distinctions between the digital self and the physical, and one day soon the two spheres may become completely enmeshed.

The end of Twitter?

Currently the new Ticker box on the Facebook homepage is little more than an annoyance. But soon that little “mini-newsfeed” is going to be worth a second look. Zuckerberg has been busy recruiting business partners to roll out the next generation of social apps on Facebook. These new Open Graph apps will allow you to see what you’re friends are listening to, watching, and doing in real time and will allow you to join in with them in the digital space. (Example- The Ticker shows a friend is watching a show on Hulu. Simply hover over the post and you can open your own Hulu app and watch with them) If executed properly, the Facebook Ticker will be taking the Twitter concept to the next level, enabling users to share rich content in real time all without leaving their homepage.

A new era of social marketing

Marketers are still trying to catch up with social media, and these new developments in Facebook will once again have them sprinting uphill. The new Facebook interface will naturally cater to those businesses that can create shareable content. Applications and the use of social gaming will become more important than ever as real time rich content will go viral while traditional 1 post a day brands will rapidly become irrelevant. I’d be interested to see whether updates to Facebook brand pages will follow all of these sweeping changes to personal profiles.

Conclusion

We are rapidly heading into an integrated digital age. Our identities, our interests, and our relationships will be increasingly tied into our digital presence. A new level of social sharing is on the horizon and it is both exciting and frightening. I have to applaud Facebook for rolling out something that has taken everyone by surprise. Keep watching ladies and gentlemen, because there are big things to come.

 

The Art of Self-Distraction

It’s 2:30 in the afternoon and you’re stuck in quite possibly the most boring meeting you have ever been to. You can’t get to your iPhone, and you’ve exhausted all of the possible rhyming combinations to the word “orange”. There is no coffee in sight. What do you do?

Never fear, corporate warrior: here are five tips to get you through that next meeting like a pro.

Distraction Tip #1: “The Tom Selleck”

Let’s face it: imagining everyone in the room around you as naked doesn’t always work out. You might be cruising along, but all it takes is one quick look at Bill from accounting and suddenly your brain is seared with images it was never meant to process. Don’t take that risk; instead of the full body undress, focus on the face. Start imagining how the presenter would look with different facial hair. (Tom Selleck’s man-stache is a good starting point). Keep your gaze on the presenter- your unusual focus can be written off as attentiveness. Remember- focus is good, spontaneous laughter is bad.

Distraction Tip #2: “The Lint Ninja”

There is a piece of lint on the sweater of the girl sitting in front of you. You must acquire that lint. But here’s the catch: you cannot pique the attention of said lint owner. If it helps to sing the Mission Impossible theme song in your head then do it-just make sure you aren’t humming out loud.

Distraction Tip #3: “The Fight Club”

You have to get out of this conference room. Unfortunately all of your co-workers are going to try to kill you. What’s your plan? Look around you for possible means of defense. Stapler? Might not cut it. The boss’s set of golf clubs? Now we’re talking. Don’t underestimate the quiet ones.

Distraction Tip #4: “The Buzzword Bingo”

This one takes a little bit of preparation beforehand. Make a list of popular corporate buzzwords such as “profit margin” and “empowerment”. Arrange the words into a bingo grid and you’re good to go. Note: don’t yell “Bingo”.

Distraction Tip #5: “The Paradox”

Try to come up with as many paradoxical situations as you can before the meeting ends. (Example- “If you went back in time and killed your father, would you instantly cease to exist?”) Warning! This game can result in complete mental shutdown. If that occurs, grab a coffee and play a few rounds of Angry Birds.