Musings of a 20-something

Go Loiter Somewhere Else

Dear large gang of vagrant middle schoolers,

Go loiter somewhere else. Sure the convenience store offers a wide variety of brain-numbing energy drinks and illicit peeks at those sketchy magazines you found at your Uncle Dave’s. But here’s a better plan- there’s a whole world of possibilities awaiting you at that back alley over there.

It’ll be great- you’re out of sight of all those pesky adults, there’s free dumpster diving behind the Chinese place, and you can do all your friends-with-benefits drama within the cozy confines of your little brick wall paradise. Win-win.

And while you’re at it- why not switch out the drive-in for the scrap yard? Think about it- you can still make out in cars, there’s plenty of risky behavior and tetanus to be had for everyone, and you can even set things on fire. Those nice looking hobos over there could sure use a light for their oil drum.

But seriously- why follow the crowd? Ditch those lame-os at the mall and head for the local retirement home. You can wear sunglasses inside, pickup some free cardigans, and not even be followed around by those pesky mall cops. You’ll be so counter-cultural it’s not even funny.

Sincerely,

-Advocate for progressive teenage hangout venues

Re-thinking Chrysler: Not Your Mom’s Brand Anymore

 [Re-post of a blog entry I did in August. I start work on the Chrysler account next week so the brand has been on my mind]

            My earliest perceptions of Chrysler were primarily influenced by a series of minivans and a bulky red New Yorker which made their way in and out of my childhood years. Needless to say, I was raised thinking of Chryslers as being safe family cars that were otherwise unsexy, unoriginal, and uncool. These biases stayed with me until Chrysler declared bankruptcy in 2009.

            My immediate reaction to the April announcement went something like this: “What a proper end for a company that couldn’t keep up with the times.” In hindsight, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Chrysler has come out of bankruptcy like a boxer catching his second wind. The brand has done a complete refresh and the result is nothing short of stunning. The new Chrysler is leaner, sleeker, and thoroughly unapologetic.

            Since receiving a bailout (more accurately a loan guarantee) from the federal government, Chrysler introduced 16 new or refreshed car models. They slimmed down production by making their Pentastar V6 engine fit multiple platforms. On top of this, they launched one of the best advertising campaigns I’ve seen in recent years. Thus begins the process of changing perceptions.

            Chrysler is no longer just your mom’s car company. They are a Cinderella story; a company that refused to accept defeat and grew stronger through trial. The new SRTs define American muscle. The Touring trim levels exude refinement.  The sport utilities are both rugged and attractive. Under Fiat’s aggressive management, I can only see bigger and better things on the horizon. In short:

I’ve become a believer. 

Keep it to Yourself

Dear Overly Loud Phone Conversationalist,

keep it to yourself. I don’t want to know about the complications from your colonoscopy or the enthralling debate you’re having with your wife over the “I’ve-never-seen-those-before-I -swear” photos that turned up on your hard drive. I’m all for you working out your personal business; I just don’t want to be an unwilling ear hostage to your dirty laundry.

And no, wearing a bluetooth headset does not magically transport you to a zone of privacy. Not only can I hear everything you’re saying- you also look like you’re having a schizophrenic conversation between your multiple personalities. Newsflash: bluetooth in the car is good for safety. Bluetooth in a grocery store makes you look like a nut job.

Didn’t your parents teach you about using your “inside voice”? If the environment is too loud for you to conduct a phone conversation without yelling, maybe you should leave. Or here’s a revolutionary idea- tell your phone buddy that you will call them back. I’m sure your discussion on the merits of rash cream can go on hold for five minutes.

Sincerely,

-Advocate for not knowing your business

Exercise Cheats That Don’t Work

The health and exercise market is flooded with gimmicks promoting quick results from minimal effort. The truth of the matter is, staying fit takes work. Here are 5 popular “cheats” that you should steer clear of:

1) Diet Pills- these pills come in a myriad of different forms, but most act as a type of metabolism booster or appetite suppressant. Unfortunately these supplements are not regulated by the FDA, and can result in dangerous side effects. Several diet pills have been pulled off the market in the last few years because they were linked to kidney and liver damage. Not worth it.

2) Water Cutting- unless you are a professional boxer/fighter, don’t play around with shedding water weight through sweat suits/saunas/etc. Sure, you can knock off a few pounds of weight pretty quickly but it’s a temporary fix. Your body runs on water, and depriving it for the sake of losing a few quick pounds is a recipe for disaster.

3) Muscle Milk- yes this supplement tastes considerably better than your average whey shake. But if you are not trying to bulk up through some serious weight training, then you should steer clear of it. If you are trying to slim down, you don’t need to be drinking this.

4) 15 Minute Workouts- anyone who tells you that you can get the benefits of a full workout in only 15 minutes a day is lying to you. You need to do 30 minutes of exercise at the minimum to start seeing improvements. If you are looking to make some serious body changes you should plan on working out for an hour a session 3-6 times a week.

5) Wii Fit- sure Wii Fit is loads of fun, but it should not be considered an adequate replacement for a workout. The Wii simply does not burn the amount of calories/give you the same benefit as a targeted full body workout. Fun every once in a while, but definitely not a viable alternative to exercise.