Calm it Down Casanova
Hey Dude with a Guitar:
ditch the instrument. In case you didn’t notice, we’re at a party, there’s already music, and I’m pretty sure it’s better than your collection of acoustic John Mayer covers. I get it-the starving artist look is your modus operandi. But seriously Rico Suave, you could pull off the same thing with a tattered scarf and some hipster glasses.
Your stringed appendage is not only taking up extra space-it’s holding me hostage in a sonic prison of Wonderwalls and Dashboard Confessionals.
And I mean- how long do you think this schtick is going to keep working? You have maybe another year before you have to get a haircut and start hitting the 9 to 5. You might as well start easing into a new look. I suggest the “motorcycle dude”. You’ll still have your safety prop to make up for your lack of conversational prowess and every guy in the room will still find you annoying. So really not that big of a jump.
Or if you want to stick to the music thing, invest in some DJ equipment. Everyone loves a good DJ.
But seriously- if you play one more cover of “The Only Exception” I’m going to beat the crap out of you with your own instrument.
Sincerely,
-Advocate for the enforcement of reasonable party etiquette
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musingsofa20something posted this
